Maybe Not Last Week. Maybe Not Next Week. But THIS Week?

by tinysneakers

I’m done. Over it. Kaput. Finis.

Breastfeeding, that is.

angry toddlerbreastfeeding toddler

For the first time in almost 16 months, I didn’t feel the need to linger over my sleepy, smiling baby as I reluctantly put him down in his crib. I didn’t hold him in my arms a little longer; I didn’t read an extra story; I didn’t have trouble tearing myself away from his crib and his adorable, happy face.

I couldn’t get out of his nursery fast enough. I couldn’t stay long enough to put him down in his crib; to say goodnight to his humidifier and his ceramic pig; to give his lovey hugs; to blow kisses from the side of his crib and then again from the doorway.

Nope, instead I called for the husband and tapped out. For the first time in 67 1/2 weeks, I said,

“I can’t.”

Continue reading my desperate plea for sanity and sudden desire to wean my toddler over on Babble.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Vicky April 24, 2013 at 10:16 am

I’ve been meaning to leave a comment for some time now and after reading your post on Babble, had to take a break from running after MY toddler and just seriously leave you a virtual hug. Thank you for your honesty and transparency. In a cyber world full of cute baby pictures and pinterest overload It is truly refreshing to read your blog where you are able to articulate what so many momma’s are going through. The guilt, the frustration, the lack of sleep, trying to be the best mom yet maintain sanity! Thanks for putting yourself out there and keeping it real!


Melanie April 24, 2013 at 10:46 am

Read this yesterday on babble. And if you choose to be finished with it at this point that is more than okay! Your son had 15 months of wonderful, protective nourishment (and is in the less than 22-25% of babies who do receive that gift at 12 months and beyond. You’re an RD too so you know the stats 🙂 You are an AMAZING mama!


Salinda April 24, 2013 at 5:08 pm

This is a good insight into the tedious nature of nursing a toddler. My baby boy is almost 18 months. We went through a stage at about 14 months of age when I felt the same. It was a constant need for him and when I wouldn’t let him the screaming AAAAH the screaming. So no its not unusual. Just for the sake of feedback I’ll tell you eventually it worked out with my little guys. I still nurse him but I had to forcibly cut him down to evening bedtime feedings and morning wake up feedings. Those two times a day I enjoy as time to relax and unwind. The two weeks during which I first cut him off during the day he was unbelievably angry. I had to do it for my sanity though. If an outsider had been looking in during that time I would have looked like a cruel, neglectful mother as he followed me around screaming and pulling at my pants while I purposefully ignored him. I didn’t like it. I hated it, but it was necessary for my survival. After the first week his tantrums settled down. After the second week they reduced slowly till they disappeared. He did become more attached to his pacifier during that time. So whatever you need to do as a Mom, don’t let yourself feel guilty and know that its perfectly ok to set up boundaries on your body. 🙂


Valerie April 24, 2013 at 5:23 pm

I can totally relate to this. I am very interested to read how night weaning worked for you, too.


Elizabeth @ The Bare Midriff April 27, 2013 at 12:33 am

I read the full article on Babble. I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time with this. I am sure it will get better, but I know that those words can seem shallow when you’re in the thick of things. You’ve got a great husband and family to help you out in the meantime, so hopefully that helps!


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