The First Heartbeat

by tinysneakers

You’ll hear it over and over again: there’s nothing like hearing your baby’s heartbeat for the first time.

heart beat

I thought I’d burst into tears or do something dramatic and full of the fanfare it deserved, but the husband and I both just smiled in combined amazement and relief that there was really something in there. Hearing a heartbeat drastically reduces your risk of miscarriage; something that eases your mind in a way you didn’t know it needed. When you first get pregnant, there’s nothing but a couple lines on a stick confirming it. There’s a few glorious days {for some, weeks} where you feel absolutely no different. First you walk around proud of your tiny little secret. And then you start to wonder. Did I make it up? Am I really pregnant? Did the pee test malfunction?

Then a few days later, you’re wishing you didn’t have so much confirmation that you’re pregnant. A few weeks after that, and you’re REALLY wishing you didn’t have confirmation. 24-7 confirmation.

But until then, you have no idea what’s really happening in there. You try not to think it, but in the back of your mind, all you wonder every day is if there’s still a baby in there.

 

When you call the doctor’s office to tell them you’re pregnant, there’s no fanfare, no shouts of excitement or congratulations. No “come in right away so we can test your blood”. It’s just, “come in in a few weeks”. And a few weeks after that. And then a few weeks later.

And then you sit and wait. And wait and wait.When the day finally rolls around, you head to the doctor’s office half excited and half anxious you read the test wrong. Both tests wrong. You don’t pee in a cup. They don’t take your blood. They go right to the big dogs: the ultrasound. Which I think is cruel, because if something were to happen, you’d have a picture of big empty uterus shoved in your face…

Luckily, we saw the most beautiful thing in the world. A big, gray blob. With a little blob attached to it, which is apparently the yolk sac, not a second baby- which I knew ran through the husband’s head for an instant along with who knows what other thoughts.

And then you hear it. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. A heartbeat. A fast heartbeat like you wouldn’t believe. The only thing that makes it even more amazing? You can see the heart beating. In the middle of that tiny gray blob, there’s a pulsing; perfectly synchronized with the whooshing.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Meg @ Notes to Hunter August 21, 2011 at 8:20 am

I also thought I would burst into tears when I heard the heartbeat for the first time – I fee like I had this whole scneario in my head and then when the time came my husband and I just smiled as each other as well and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

I know you aren’t a fan of doing the weekly belly photos but I hope you do show your progress at some points! You are going to make one cute pregnant lady!

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Elizabeth @TheBareMidriff August 21, 2011 at 11:34 am

Oh I’m so happy and excited and thrilled and amazed for you. Thanks for taking us along on this journey with you.

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April August 21, 2011 at 4:01 pm

What a beautiful story…it is amazing each and every time. Congratulations to you and your husband. I can’t wait to hear more 🙂

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Jen August 22, 2011 at 8:28 am

I love that hearing and seeing the heartbeat was so magical for you 🙂 I was still a nervous wreck when we first heard/ saw it and didn’t really believe a baby was in there until our 12 week ultrasound. It is such an amazing thing though!

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Kate August 22, 2011 at 9:19 pm

What amazed me was that hearing the swooshy little heartbeat at 12w6d (yesterday) was as amazing as seeing the little blob on our first scan (7w3d), and just about as amazing as seeing the teeny tiny baby at our 12 week scan. I haven’t been as emotional as I expected- but I’ve been SO relieved!

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Amy December 29, 2011 at 2:16 pm

I just found out im pregnant…seriously cannot believe this is happening! i dont feel anything yet which totally weirds me out so i keep taking pregnancy tests like a crazy person haha. i wish we could go to the dr right away bc apparently that would make everything okay? i donno..either way its exciting stuff! congrats!!

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tinysneakers December 30, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Congrats, that’s so exciting!!!! Oh it drove me CRAZY that I couldn’t immediately go to the doctor and get REAL confirmation- it’s so hard to believe when all you can look at is a little line on a stick. 😉

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Tiffany March 2, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Oh my gosh, I love your blog – I just started reading your first few posts about being pregnant (I’m 5 weeks)
Yes The last few days I’ve been wondering if I’m making this up haha!
Thank you, for telling it how it REALLY is!

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