From Tracey at I’m (not) Superhuman
Hi there, I’m Tracey. I’m like Heather but without the ability to magically turn treats like cinnamon buns into health foods. Which is to say, I’m a member of the Never-ending Injury Society.
But I’m not just a member. I’m also the president. First, you should know, we’re not too picky. Though I have about seven gazillion injuries piling up (It’s fun! Really!), you only need one to join.
To become a better candidate for membership, I thought I’d reveal some secrets to success. Here they are, the top five things you should have when dealing with an injury:
You may be thinking, “I’ll never join the Never-ending Injury Society. My injury isn’t that bad.” If I had a dime for every time a member said that before joining, I’d retire to a small island off the coast of Greece. With a pet unicorn. Be willing to accept that you’re injured. Then get yourself to a doctor—now.
What’s funnier than a runner with bad knees? Nothing. That’s the beauty of the Never-ending Injury Society. We can laugh at our own pathetic situations until we start to believe we’re not so pathetic. We’re delusional, of course, but it helps with the waiting.
This is really the most important tip. Because when you’re laid up in bed without the use of opposable thumbs or without the ability to move your leg, you need a slave friend to do the dirty work. Find a loyal servant to do the laundry, lift heavy objects, and—if you’re really injured like many of our members are—to carry you when your legs stop working. Spouses work great, but you shouldn’t discriminate.
Face it, you can’t work out. You can’t do the normal things you love. So what can you do? Sit on the couch with a container of Chubby Hubby, a glass of red wine, and a predictable chick flick. Netflix is a necessary tool for Never-ending Injury Society members, but it can be dangerous, too. Many an injured member as succumbed to the sirens call of flicks like Steel Magnolias or Schindler’s List. DO NOT go down this route. Tearjerkers will only fuel your self-loathing. Stick with tried-and-true favorites like The Proposal and Leap Year. The more predictable the romantic storyline, the better.
Before I was president of the Never-ending Injury Society I was like you: Naïve in thinking my injury would just go away. I’ll let you down easy. No injury goes away as fast as you want. (OK, maybe paper cuts, but you’re not getting into the society on a paper cut.) So be willing to sit out longer than you’d like on whatever you love doing. It’s a fact of life, really.
As you can see, these six tips will guide you on your journey. It may seem like a lot to take in, but don’t fear; there’s a handy acronym to help you remember. Next time you think about your injury, just W.H.I.N.E.
Thanks Tracey for the fabulous post!! And for letting me laugh about my never ending injury saga 😉