The Never-ending Injury Society

by Heather

From Tracey at I’m (not) Superhuman

Hi there, I’m Tracey. I’m like Heather but without the ability to magically turn treats like cinnamon buns into health foods. Which is to say, I’m a member of the Never-ending Injury Society.

injuries

But I’m not just a member. I’m also the president. First, you should know, we’re not too picky. Though I have about seven gazillion injuries piling up (It’s fun! Really!), you only need one to join.

To become a better candidate for membership, I thought I’d reveal some secrets to success. Here they are, the top five things you should have when dealing with an injury:

Willingness

You may be thinking, “I’ll never join the Never-ending Injury Society. My injury isn’t that bad.” If I had a dime for every time a member said that before joining, I’d retire to a small island off the coast of Greece. With a pet unicorn. Be willing to accept that you’re injured. Then get yourself to a doctor—now.

Humor

What’s funnier than a runner with bad knees? Nothing. That’s the beauty of the Never-ending Injury Society. We can laugh at our own pathetic situations until we start to believe we’re not so pathetic. We’re delusional, of course, but it helps with the waiting.

Indentured servant

This is really the most important tip. Because when you’re laid up in bed without the use of opposable thumbs or without the ability to move your leg, you need a slave friend to do the dirty work. Find a loyal servant to do the laundry, lift heavy objects, and—if you’re really injured like many of our members are—to carry you when your legs stop working. Spouses work great, but you shouldn’t discriminate.

Netflix

Face it, you can’t work out. You can’t do the normal things you love. So what can you do? Sit on the couch with a container of Chubby Hubby, a glass of red wine, and a predictable chick flick. Netflix is a necessary tool for Never-ending Injury Society members, but it can be dangerous, too. Many an injured member as succumbed to the sirens call of flicks like Steel Magnolias or Schindler’s List. DO NOT go down this route. Tearjerkers will only fuel your self-loathing. Stick with tried-and-true favorites like The Proposal and Leap Year. The more predictable the romantic storyline, the better.

Endurance

Before I was president of the Never-ending Injury Society I was like you: Naïve in thinking my injury would just go away. I’ll let you down easy. No injury goes away as fast as you want. (OK, maybe paper cuts, but you’re not getting into the society on a paper cut.) So be willing to sit out longer than you’d like on whatever you love doing. It’s a fact of life, really.

As you can see, these six tips will guide you on your journey. It may seem like a lot to take in, but don’t fear; there’s a handy acronym to help you remember. Next time you think about your injury, just W.H.I.N.E.

Thanks Tracey for the fabulous post!! And for letting me laugh about my never ending injury saga 😉

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Alex @ I Eat Asphalt September 28, 2010 at 8:39 am
Oh how I love Tracey. This is classic!
Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul September 28, 2010 at 9:16 am
It's nice to read something light-hearted about what can be such a frustrating issue. I've been fortunate not to have too many injuries, but I can certainly sympathize and "WHINE" at times!
Natalia - a side of simple September 28, 2010 at 10:23 am
This made my day. Where do I sign up?
Nichole September 28, 2010 at 11:13 am
HAAAA. That's hysterical, in a not funny way I guess. WHINE about it!
Marcia September 28, 2010 at 12:46 pm
Love this! I think I could be an officer of this club.
Aimee September 28, 2010 at 1:10 pm
LOL! As a member of said society, I adore this post. :)
Katie @ peacebeme September 28, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Best post ever! I am definitely a member. "No injury goes away as fast as you want. (OK, maybe paper cuts, but you’re not getting into the society on a paper cut.) So be willing to sit out longer than you’d like on whatever you love doing. It’s a fact of life, really." --- so true, unfortunately. I am trying every day to accept that I have a disease that makes me "injured" forever. I also highly recommend TV series on netflix. movies start to bore me sometimes but it is awesome to shut off your brain and it lost watching episode after episode. Netflix online is awesome for this!
Tracey @ I'm Not Superhuman September 28, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Glad you liked the post! (I too am dealing with a disease that will leave me always "injured.") I also love to rent TV series on Netflix. Sometimes and ongoing veg-out session is much needed. And I second the Lost suggestion. Bigtime.
Katie @ peacebeme September 28, 2010 at 2:24 pm
get lost*
Lisa September 28, 2010 at 5:18 pm
LOL Thanks for the light-hearted look at injuries. I'm suffering from one now and trying not to WHINE. :)
Cynthia (It All Changes) September 28, 2010 at 9:11 pm
This is hysterical! Thank you so much for letting me know what society I belong to. But I'm here and I'm a member :-)
Becca October 3, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Oh wow, that's so funny! I have a feeling that my lovely knees will be carrying me into the society before too long, but it's great to know I'm in good company!

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