Let’s Be Honest

I’m running on fumes these days. More like walking on fumes.

There’s nothing like attempting to train for two back-to-back 50 mile bike rides to make you realize you’re not invincible.

I thought signing up and committing to an event would be the impetus I needed to keep pushing through, but it looks like it’ll take more than that. I’ve had to dig deeper and push harder to make myself start every workout, every ride, every training session.

When I’m out there riding or in the middle of a tough weights session I feel great. I remember why I do this, why I push myself, and why I love every kind of exercise.

But getting to those moments and finding those opportunities has proven more difficult than I’d imagined. I try to put our sleep situation {or lack there of} in a positive light. I try to find the humor in it. I try to accept it for what it is. For the most part I’ve been able to do that, but when it comes to working out, I really, really feel it.

There’s a point where you can’t push through the fatigue. For me, that’s the end of the day. I can keep my act together in the morning, but as the day wears on, I lose all motivation and ability to do anything purposeful or productive.

What was once a simple task of getting up, throwing on workout clothes, racking my bike, and heading to the park is now a much more complicated circus act. Getting up early is not an option. I already have a 5-6am wake up call {cough cough insomniac baby cough cough} and after getting up 2 or 3 times a night, an earlier date with my alarm clock is an act I refuse to commit to. Call me selfish.

Squeaking in weight training isn’t all that hard. It’s a matter of motivation and finding the mental strength to do it. Cycling, however, is a different story. Perhaps I was looking at our situation with rose-colored glasses when I imagined how training would go. Whatever I was thinking, it wasn’t realistic.

The real situation looks more like this: I can’t ride my bike with the baby. The more I look into it, the more I think he’s not ready to be in a bike trailer yet. That leaves riding on my own. The baby eats every 2 1/2 hours or so, which leaves a smaller window than you’d think to get to the park, ride, and come home. There’s also the little factor of having someone home to watch the kiddo while I ride. Unfortunately the husband has had to travel for work more this year than ever before. Sometimes for a couple days, sometimes longer. I can’t remember the last time he was home for a full week. Obviously I don’t talk about this as it’s happening.

Did I mention he’s training for this ride to? That schedule makes it tough on him too.

All that’s left are the weekends. So far our weekends have been packed with plans and rain, rain, rain. No riding.

I try to hop on the trainer as much as I can, but it’s not the same. {My trainer is actually a permanent kitchen staple these days. That’s normal, right?}

I don’t really know the point of this post. It’s part frustration, part defeat, part determination. To find a way to make it work or to accept that it’s not my time, I’m not sure which way I’m going. It depends on the day.

Regardless of the frustrations of finding the time to get out on the bike, I’m more determined than ever to keep up with building my strength. Rebuilding the muscle in my legs, glutes, and hips is what will get me {and keep me} out there running again; something I can do with Kabes. I’m sticking with bootcamp {which is awesome and challenging and empowering} the best that I can, modifying it as needed to make it work with my schedule and energy levels.

Eating enough to build muscle and power through a workout is a totally different story…

Talk to me about bike trailers. If you have kids, how old were they when you started using one? If you have a road bike, do you feel comfortable using a trailer with it? {I’ve heard it’s bad for your bike…} I’ve been looking at this bike trailer for a little down the road, but will probably make the husband put it on his bike. I’d love any feedback or advice you have. {And where do you find helmets small enough?!}