All About my Stinky Feets, Part 2

by Heather

Did you catch Part 1 of my story?

I gave up on doctors for several months. One day I finally said I’d had enough. I went to my primary doctor and said please do something, I can’t take it anymore. She couldn’t give me typical pain medications, because they could potentially mask any inflammation, something they were trying to keep an eye out for. She decided to try me on a medication for fibromyalgia, even though that’s not what was going on. Her theory was that it was a similar chronic pain process, so maybe, just maybe, it would have an effect.

I was willing to try anything. If she had told me to hang upside down with my finger on my nose three times a day I probably would have tried it. Unfortunately the medication is frightful expensive, so I’m limited to half a dose a day. Let me tell you, half is a million times better than nothing.

Yes, I still have pain, but now it’s manageable. And manageable is my new best friend. I wish someone would have thought of this earlier, but I can’t look back like that. I’m grateful that the doctor was willing to give it a try. I guess she finally believed I was struggling after 10 months of coming to her for the same complaint. I’m glad I had the courage to go back and ask for help yet again.

So where do I stand today, thirteen months into this journey? Thousands and thousands of dollars in medical debt later, I still have 0 answers. None. A few vague theories, a handful of let’s just wait and sees. I’ve adjusted. I take my medication, along with vitamin B12, like clockwork. It may be half a dose, but that half a dose is priceless. My energy levels have started to return, my hair has stopped falling out, and is starting to grow back in. I’m now sporting a new style I like to refer to as my “hair-hawk”, an awkward splay of 1/2 inch hairs stick out of the rest of my long hair like I was attacked by a static ball. An unruly display of way-to-short-wannabe-bangs constantly stick up off my forehead. But they’re a-growing :)

My grip is poor, but I can write and type and cook and wash my own hair. My feet are weak, but strong enough to support me and get me around. I can’t stand on my toes, or wear shoes with heels, but I’ve been re-learning how to run, just a little differently.

Like I said, my pain isn’t gone, but it’s manageable. And manageable is the new gone. :)

Thanks for listening. And if I thoroughly bored you, I promise not to let it happen again ;)

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{ 14 comments… read them below or chime in }

Becca January 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Wow! That’s too bad that they never figured it out :( I hope things continue to get better!

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caronae January 17, 2010 at 6:32 pm

That sounds unimagiably awful! Good luck, I hope the problem continues to improve!

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Shannon January 17, 2010 at 6:40 pm

I think its terrible that there is something that is working for you and its too expensive for you to get more than half a dose.

You must be so frustrated wanting answers. I think you have a marvelous attitude!

I hope your doctors are still digging for answers and will find something. I have chronic stomach issues, and although its not the same, I understand how tiring something chronic can be. Thanks for sharing your story!

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onelittlejill January 17, 2010 at 6:56 pm

Not having answers is so frustrating. I have had this in an aspect of my life as well. I think it is great that you shared this, and I look forward to you finding an answer (it IS out there and they WILL find it…never give up on your self!) and following your journey!

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marathonmaiden January 17, 2010 at 6:59 pm

no answers = worst thing in the world! but your way to not get all down is most impressive. thanks for sharing your story

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theprocessofhealing January 17, 2010 at 8:12 pm

Bored? Definitely not. I can’t believe all you have went through and you STILL don’t know what’s really wrong. :( poor thing!!! That is such an inspiration. You are incredible for getting through it and coming out a stronger woman than before. And still running!

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lindsayruns January 17, 2010 at 10:29 pm

I so wish I could share my health insurance with you! I’m sorry they still haven’t found answers. I can’t imagine how frusterating that must be.

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Shelly January 17, 2010 at 10:54 pm

I can not begin to understand how frustrating this must be! I am glad you’ve found something to help manage the effects, I pray that you find some answers so you can get a ‘cure’ and be past this.
You are amazing for not letting this stop you!

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fromatopink January 18, 2010 at 11:32 am

I just read Part 1 of your story – I am SO sorry you’re going through this! Knowing something is wrong but not having an answer is worse than anything else. It’s scary and frustrating and exhausting, but it sounds like you’re handling it with grace and strength. I know our situations are very different, but please feel free to vent – I can relate to some of the frustration you must be feeling. Keep up with the positive attitude and I KNOW you will get through this. :)

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Heather January 18, 2010 at 6:42 pm

I can only imagine what you have been going through. It must be so frustrating to not know what is wrong.

I am so sad that you can’t take the full dose of the medication you need. I went through something like that in grad school and it isn’t fun. Someone needs to fix our health care system!

Best wishes!

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Laura Georgina January 25, 2010 at 12:51 pm

You are an iron lady! Thank you so much for sharing–it’s inspiring to read that you still get on with it all with good cheer and a positive outlook. I hope Part III of the story rolls around soon, with the happy ending you deserve:-)

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Katie O. @ Fit to Wed January 29, 2010 at 10:36 pm

How frustrating for you- I am glad that the pain is manageable now! I commend you for being your own best advocate and not taking no from the doctors. I hope that you get more answers soon!

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Sara March 2, 2010 at 3:47 pm

Heather… I knew you were going through all of this but I don’t think I ever understood how bad it was/is… I can understand that feeling of wanting to cry every day and no one being able to do anything about it. I mean at least I had some kind of answer with my migraines, even though we had no answer as to why… we sort of knew what it was…which i could not imagine going through the “not knowing” like you have been… I really enjoyed our late night chat the other night and it is crazy how really parallel our lives are… I never knew!

We must do it more… the hanging out that is… and actually do it instead of just saying it! :)

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Lindsay @ The Ketchup Diaries June 1, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Wow. Your story is incredible, but your attitude is so much more inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story with us. And, more importantly, thanks for showing us that there always is an upside to everything!

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